I'm always pleased to exchange a good handshake with a person of either gender. Shaking hands is traditionally part of men's culture in Australia. In these days of equality it can be a useful skill for women to have when communicating with men. A handshake is a very important piece of communication that can establish trust and help to create a friendship.
It sometimes disappoints me that a large number of people (a minority of men, fortunately) do not know how to shake hands properly. A good handshake from a woman is a pleasant surprise. Since it is not part of traditional women's culture, many women have not acquired the skill.
Here are some 'insider tips' for women about handshakes. Shaking hands well with a man can make a surprising difference to the way he perceives you. At best you will have a friend for life. At the very least he will think "She can match me. I won't mess with her!"
What does a handshake say?
A good handshake says clearly "I can meet you on equal terms. I am not currently overwhelmed. I have affinity for you. You can rely on me to be here."
Not shaking hands could say "I have different rules. I may or may not meet you on equal terms, have affinity for you, etc.."
What is a good handshake?
When you shake hands:
The shake:
If the other person's grip is flaccid, give what you consider a firm but not overwhelming grip.
If the other person's grip is too firm, match them as well as you can without showing effort (or pain).
All of these things are important. Failure to observe one or more can give an unfavourable message.
What can go wrong with a handshake?
Lack of eye contact can say
A flaccid grip can say
Too firm a grip can say
Grasping fingers without palm contact can say
Exaggerated shaking or raising the elbow sideways can say
(This may not really be 'going wrong' on some occasions)
Women- shake hands with a man today! He will love it.!
David Stephensen 1998